Dangerous Behaviors: Anger Isues

Realife Intervention Solutions

Dangerous Behaviors: Anger Isues and Disorders

What is Anger?

The Nature of Anger

Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage," according to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.
Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (Such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.

Expressing Anger

The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.
On the other hand, we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.
People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.
Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships.
Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.

RAGE AND ANGER:
The most powerful emotional addiction.

"Breathing fire"

Have you ever been so angry that you felt like you could breathe fire? Felt your cheeks burn as they turned red? Actually broken out in a sweat? Begun to tremble with rage? Not even been able to talk? Wanted to smash something or somebody and break it all to pieces? And then felt sort of sick to your stomach afterwards? Have you found yourself yelling at people without even thinking? Snapping at your kids, spouse, fellow workers?

"Got Road Rage?"

Do you regularly drive faster than the posted speeds, run yellow or red lights, ignore stop signs? How about those other drivers on the highway, have you wanted to flip them the bird? Slow down in front of them when they come up too close behind you? Intentionally cut in front of them when they do it to you? Flashed your lights at them so that you could pass because you thought they were going much to slowly? Felt like you ought to teach them a lesson about driving? Followed them on the highway past your own exit, just to put a scare into them? And then justified your actions to the passenger in your car when they made a comment? What a kick it is to feel so ferocious!

"Impatient with others?"

Do you think that most of the people you know are stupid jerks who can't do anything right? Are you impatient with the people who wait on you in stores and restaurants? Do you argue with nearly everyone you meet at some point in your encounter with them? Do you prefer to watch violent, action movies and television shows, and sometimes secretly wish that you could do the things that the characters are doing? Prefer to play with violent action video games? Kick the cat? Beat the dog, or your kids or your spouse? Or fantasize about doing those things?

Have the people around you told you that you have a very short fuse? Have you ever tried to control your angry or rageful outbursts? Do you feel, in secret, that you are losing your grip on your life? Read on.

"Drunk on your own brain chemicals.

Anger is one of our most primitive emotions. Feeling angry brings forth a flood of adrenalin in our bodies and our brains. You know the feeling, the rush when you feel taller than a mountain and stronger than superman, every single muscle and nerve is on red alert, you tingle all over and you believe that you could take on the whole Green Bay Packers team and win! That feeling is sensational! At least for some of us. It feels so good that we want to experience it again and again, so we stay in a semi-constant state of rage. It takes nothing to tip us over into outrage. It's almost as if we are drunk!

You're right! That's exactly it! You are drunk on your own adrenalin. You can bring on a rush of the chemical by your thoughts and actions anytime you want to. When you do, your thinking becomes impaired, you can justify your outrageous behavior, no matter what the real facts are, and know, without any doubt, that someone else is to blame. You're out of control, and you know it, but you can't stop. Because when you try not to react to those angry feelings you miss that powerful, intoxicating feeling. You crave the adrenalin rush. You need it You can't live without it. So you give in and do it again.

"I'll give you something to cry for!"

You hate seeing your spouse and your kids cry all of the time. It makes you sick! If they're going to cry, you'll give them something to cry for! What do they want, to be coddled? Spoiled? Wrapped in cotton? It's a tough world out there and they had better learn to deal with it! This, my friend is part of your impaired thinking. It may be exactly what you heard when you were a kid, but it is wrong none the less. Angry responses elicit either fear or anger in return. You know that. You've seen the look on their faces. You know that you can't change them by screaming at them, but you can't seem to control it. You are truly addicted to this state of being, this emotional, chemical trap that now determines your every action and feeling. You've known for a long time that it is getting worse, nearly everyone you care about is afraid of you, or they've left you. You feel alone most of the time, even when there are people around.